What The Hell Is ZUMBA

Ok, I concede.  I will be taking my first Zumba Class in the next few days and I am baffled.  I have looked up the definitions and even looked at some of the pictures.    I have a few questions.

• Do guys Zumba?
• Will I be the oldest in the class?
• Will the instructor make fun of me?
• What do you wear to Zumba?  (Latin pants and v cut shirt?)
• Do I have to be Latino?
• Do I get a partner?
• What if I strain my Zumba?
• Who invented Zumba?  Guy or Girl?
• Will I be able to walk afterwards?

Several things are going thru my mind.   I have signed up for a crunch class, a step class, a Zumba class, a cycle class and something called cardio dance with step all within 3 days including my regular workout.  I will try all of these and let you all know how it goes.  If my instructor is a choad then game on.  I will get good at it then replace him.   Game on Fool.

I notice so much now at the gym while I am working out.  I pay attention to my form. (It is so hot....not) but I still notice things that seem wrong.  I have complied a Top Ten list of what seems to bother me the most at the gym.

10.  The guy that passes me on the track only to merge left again and slow down in front of me.  P.S.  you smell

09.  The weird guy with the M.C. Hammer pants that lifts, dances, lifts, dances

08.  The Asian lady that makes cell phone calls between reps and does not get off the machine.  Pig

07.  The Girl that weighs herself every 10 laps around the track.  Eat a sandwich...

06.  The booger eater on the elliptical that never wipes down his equipment.

05.  The lady that dresses inappropriate for the gym. has a Starbucks Frap x-tra whip and does 5 min and never works out.  Why are you there.  Quit flipping your hair.  It is very over processes and you are creepy.

04.  The kid that lifts more than me and is only 12.  I so want to lock you in a locker you runt.

03.  The lady that works there and sits and watches homemade movies on the computer  of her dog doing things to other dogs.  Not appropriate and stop smiling at me.

02.  The two supremacist that stare at me.  You were three.  Where is your buddy, jail?

And the Number one irritant:  The 450 pound man that walks the track with a back scratcher and just uses it to scratch his crotch.  OMG  I applaud you for walking but for real, clear up the rash first.  


I will let you know about each of the classes.