Day Of Self Inflicted Torture

I consider myself a reformed foodie and food pusher. I would eat anything at anytime and try to get others to eat anything at anytime with me. I did not like to eat alone but that did not stop me. I joined a weight loss competition and worked my ass off. I lost 38.4 pounds during the competition for a total summer loss of 53.8. Am I proud? Yes. Am I sore? You bet?


I did say that I would let you know how my power weekend went with the Crunch Class, Step Class, Zumba and jump roping. First let me say I must have been high on life and protein shakes to have ever signed up for so much in one day because I still did my regular work out and could barely walk the following day.

The crunch class was pretty much just that. I learned so many ways to work on my abs. I think if I just repeated that class every day for 6 months I would be the Abs in Abercrombie.

The step class should be called cramp class. There was no stretching for this class. I guess when it is only 45 minutes long then you just get right to it. I did my step (one step) while others showed off with two or three. I was struggling to choreograph the steps to the music. The most entertaining part of this class was watching myself stumble and watching other pull their leotards out of their butts between songs. It was fine and I would do this again. I think that I have the rhythm now. It is more of a swaying to the music as you use the step. I liked the instructor and did not feel uncomfortable with anything. There were more men in this class which was cool so I did not feel too out of place.

Zumba class was an entirely different story. This class was dominated with women. If I could have gotten a refund then I would have. I was lied to. Were they so desperate for my 10.00 dollars that they had to lie? Since the classes were back to back I was the last in the room and had to be right up front. This was my biggest fear next to the anticipation of opening a can of Pillsbury biscuits I did not want to be up front on the first class but there I was in all my glory. What I did not understand was why there was a lady to my side that had her IPod on and did the entire class to her own beat and song. All I could think was that she was dancing to Zumba Max and was advanced. That or she was just an idiot.

The first thing I learned was how to move my hips like a stripper without moving the rest of my body. Ok I am a cylinder still, how in the hell was I to do that. I played along and became the Mario Lopez of Zumba. I pretended there was a pole and away I went. That was fun, now what? The next thing is to learn to step up, step back, step up, step back, you get the picture. Now add the hooker thrust and step and thrust. Ok time to add the arms. Ok, gay flamingo dancer is what I felt like at this point. Put a headdress and on me and I was ready for Vegas. I kept thinking about this the entire time so I started chuckling. And now we add the music. I did not know it was mostly Latino inspired but I went with it. I started playing with accents incase I became good at it and wanted to travel. I would have to say that it was a very entertaining class and I have a huge amount of respect for everyone in that room. I will be on Dancing with the Stars this fall so watch for me. With my luck they will pair me up with Mimi from Drew Carey or Della Recce.

The jump roping class was very intoxicating with 20 women, all with nylon whips. I was in heaven. Again we got the basics and off we went. I will brag about this one. I was a master rope jumper in 2 states as a kid and I was ready to take on the best. Now. I am a little heavier but I know when to lift my feet. I was keeping pace and I really enjoyed it. Several heart attacks later I still did fine. There is more of me to get off the ground but I don’t need a solid fuel rocket booster if that is what you are thinking. Two guys came in the middle of the class which I thought was not allowed but they looked like they could do better than me and look better doing it. Well to my surprise the one guy kept getting the rope stuck on his hoofs and the other kept tangling himself like a steroid kitty with a ball of yarn. I emerged the master and will buy a whip, I mean a rope of my own and do this outdoors in the fall. I liked it.

All in all I enjoyed it all and I have to say when I hurt now in places I thought were dead it is for a good reason. I am using muscles and staying alive.